Once there was a happy worker ant – so happy and productive

She came to work every day cherry and happy

At the end of the day she had earned her paycheck well

Well not all to well in the world of upper management and theories of personality and production

The boss a lion , thinking and pondering , while evaluating just how smart he was since he was the boss came to the conclusion that with this level of productivity and profit that given there was no supervision , and since the ant was “only a worker”  that events and profits would be much greater if a supervisor was employed ( not unlike the Pharaoh’s management team – the overseers)

A supervisor “The Cockroach” was hired due to the inherent ability of the Cockroach supervisory character to write good reports.

Once the Cockroach as hired , well he decided and determined that he needed a secretary both to enhance the size of his departmental budget, to issue the orders and to type out the reports.  Not that the budget did not have an allotment for a new Dell 8 core computer complete with a color laser printer and collator

Now amazing reports could be issued for board meetings as well as salary reviews for the staff demonstrating why raises could not be awarded,  yet while pointing out the wonderful stats of the upper management

Its all who tells the story and how the trend lines are drawn and laid out

Add to that all the whiz bang colors and the abilities of sophisticated color graphics to dazzle , camouflage and emphasize

Guess what now a spider needed to be hired simply to manage the data in the new time clock system ( introduced by the Cockroach)  as well as to monitor bathroom breaks and record phone calls.

Amazingly things had run just fine before with no time clock what so ever

Graphs and charts were provided on a regular basis to  upper management , for board meetings,  upper management and the directors of the company were rewarded with large bonuses and even stock options and travel perks

The CEO and his wonderful results ( according to graphs always listing upwards)  were a continual fixture in the Wall Street Journal

Somehow a lag came to the business. It came to finger pointing time.  Poor production levels and profit from that one department.

Guess who was fired -  the ant since that employee suffered from poor morale and an unsubstantial “work ethic”

So goes the merry go round

Wonder where it will stop ?

Ace Employment Wpg

Fire Your Boss  -Send Your Boss a Poem

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You think you have a heavy workload? Try working 16 hour days, 7 days a week, in a poorly ventilated factory. You’re not allowed any bathroom breaks, and if you make a mistake, you get fired. Which won’t really affect your standard of living, because your pay cheque consists of half a loaf of burnt bread. (If you’re really lucky).

Hate the fact that you spend so many hours on the road? Hey, at least you’re in a car. Not wandering dank forests on foot, constantly looking over your shoulder for traces of wild, hungry animals that want to devour you for dinner. And even though the office budgets mean that you have to fly economy, it’s still a heck of a lot better than the conditions of a sailing galley. You aren’t shackled to your seats, and no matter how bad the airline food is, at least it’s not infested with maggots. (Except of course on Karter Ultra-Budget Airlines – where they charge extra for the maggots).

Are you dealing with difficult co-workers, who refuse to follow your instructions and grumble when you ask them to meet deadlines? At least they’re not stoning you to death, feeding you to lions, or plotting with the people from the Accounting Department on how they can convince your boss to serve your head on a silver platter.

Retirement package not up to your standard? Be thankful you can even look forward to retirement. For some people, they’re lucky to be alive at the end of the day, what with charging bulls or the risk of falling four stories down a rickety chimney.

Your job isn’t as bad as you think. Not completely crap! There are many jobs out there that are much, much worse.

Some excuse that is.

Not unlike the old parable your father or grandmother told you of 10 people who cannot swim jump off a bridge into the river.

You cannot swim either – do you jump off the bridge like the other fools and malcontents ?>?

Jerk Bosses I Have Known

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www.jerkbossesihaveknown.com

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