It can be said that the next time you see two people engaged in a heated argument, notice for sure the absolute finality with which they speak.

No on is ever wrong it seems. There is never two sides to any equation. Its like a person , who goes from one jackpot so to speak who gives up living in Kelowna the most scenic town in Canada it is often said – at least by people in BC British Columbia following a man – who travels to a most remote place in Northern Alberta of dirty , filthy “hicks” , to escape the mental power , influence and guilt of his mother. The old joke is how many controlling mothers does it take to change a lightbulb is told ? Only one is the answer – with the refrain “It’s OK. I will sit alone and cold here in the dark, my son”.

Yet that same person – the one who took the trip , moved kit and kaboodle to what some might consider a “hell hole” , whose only outing is either a mall which closes at 5 pm or perhaps a solitary restaurant of an ordinary run of the mill Subway Restaurant for an exorbitant $ 9 fee, was explained by a well meaning knowledgable person , friend or adviser “not to do it ” or “even don’t do it !!!”,
then person 1 – making the mistake would never ever ever ever admit that perhaps it might not be a good idea.

Later on perhaps when disaster and the screaming stops perhaps they might be able to ask themselves a question of this disastrous effect on their life – “What small part did I perhaps have to play in this series of events”.

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Bertrand Russel once remarked that “The demand for certainty is one that is natural to man, but is nevertheless and intellectual vice”. Say what ? Could you please repeat that. Nancy Pelosi explaining away King Obama makes more sense than that.

Yet go to your latest sales / management meeting or meetings , take a pocket or even hidden tape recorder or even a mp3 player. Record the gobblygook or what goes for such talk. Better yet your company issued Blackberry , iPhone or Android phone can serve as a handy yet you don’t have to conceal recording device.

After the event and your recovery from Planet Pluto , pour yourself a couple stiff single malt Scotch whiskey drinks . Take out that voice recorder , phone or mp3 player. Play the meeting back , parts and segments of it – or perhaps the little parts and segments of it that you feel that you can stomach. Is amazing isn’t it. How apparently logical people , hired for their intelligence are somehow treated to all of this and must succumb to this – even pretending that they are somehow grateful and privileged to be part of this wonderful exercise from the most gifted people on earth issuing dictates and illuminations of earth shattering knowledge.
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A conscientious father was advising his about-to-be –married son that “Cooperation is the foundation of most successful marriages…. You must do things together, For instance if your wife wants to go for a walk, or out to a movie, go for a walk with her or to the cinema. If you she wants to do the dishes then do the dishes with her”. All in all it’s a question in relationships of if “You want to be right or happy”.
It is not unlike Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle in that you can either know the position of a molecule or its speed. For if you wish to know the exact position of the particle you will speed it up shining light or energy on it. Yet another way of explaining this quandary is to “Get with the program”.

A man received an email via Facebook from an old fling of years ago. The man had always held that relationship dear in his heart. The woman seemed to want to rekindle the past relationship and even though he explained to her several times that if you enjoyed an event or time before – say a vacation at a resort or Greek island – the advice of travel agents and seasoned travelers was “not to go back”. It could and would never be the same.

Yet the travel partner – or old flame persisted – and the willing victim – thought to himself – this is a good opportunity for a vacation and who knows what else? Hence a trip was rapidly arranged and paid for fully by said victim. Since the woman lived over 1000 miles away at present, in a most remote location a trip to a sun spot seemed a wise choice. A nice climate, last minute deals and accommodations could be arranged in a snap at budget rates – at the end of low season even better.

True it was no doubt a case of “enjoy the moment”. Yet from the time the fellow met the woman on the plane it was over. Person one was living in the past – she had stayed a most desirable and nubile young woman from the bar scene in her mind – whereas her potential travel partner had “gotten older and heavier”. The fellow was finished except for paying for this abusive individual’s full planned holiday complete with a new wardrobe of garbage Mexican clothes , her planned day trips non-stop, travels and visits to every dress , clothing and trinket shop that came in her path et al.

Yet in the end – the victim felt he got good value. He was able to recognize this situation as it was, the apparent abuse, the delusional character of both this individual, her self talk and self visualizations and indeed how her self centered impetuous behavior had indeed ruined, sabotaged and indeed would continue to sabotage her life leading her to nowhere but apparent ruin – and on the lookout for most victims and marks to fall for her routines and self seeking reprehensible behaviors.

In the end it is not a case of that “You can be right or you can be happy”.
Sometimes you can be both indeed.

The pleasure of a :

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“Of course I will serve on ABC ( alphabet soup) committee”. “You can always count on me”.

Or the standard phrase “The door is always open” or “I am as close as your telephone ( email / blackberry /iPhone in 2011/12).

These are all pat answers. Yet the wisest manager of all does not fall prey to these slogans. The role of management is to manage.
Yet ask most managers what management is and you will receive alternatively a blank stare , or worse yet a feigned look that the troops are starting up and its time to stomp them and teach them who is boss.

If management is so busy putting out minor fires – how on earth can they see the forest for trees , the real priorities and where to allocate time , resources and planning efforts.

Sure events will happen. Fires will occur and disasters will happen from time to time. These have to be dealt with promptly.
On top of that a major role of fire departments is not so much in heroically fighting fires but in fire prevention. Indeed if resources and time are set to task , not to minor disturbances a lot , lot will be accomplished of merit – and with a lot less effort and
frustration. Some people just like to put out fires – and in a jackpot most of the time – or getting there. Avoid these people like the plague. Indeed if are misfortunate enough to take one on a holiday be prepared for startled responses like “you act like you are on a budget”.

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The story is told by a fellow who as a helpful sort was selling satellite receivers. Returning a phone call he listened to a man who was trying to set up his antenna to receive Brazilian soccer. Never heard of those channels on the international satellite frequencies he said – but if you heard so it most likely is there.

Well I have been trying all day and i just cannot set it up.
Do you have the numbers – coordinates to point the dish ? Ya sure. Do you have a level – no. What about a compass ? Neither of the two.
How on earth do you expect to set it up ?

Well after providing the proper coordinates for pointing ( the supplies ones were way off), the helpful soul asked the caller – listen i am glad to help you , but what about the person who sold you the dish. Its a good friend who sold me the receiver – he told me get lost to screw off. That’s nice. Yet can i ask a question – what happens when your receiver is scrambled and has to be unjammed again with no codes ? Oh said the caller , he said that was no problem.

One might say the chances of this are slim and nil. If the girl is a bitch before the wedding – watch out for after.

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Effectiveness it can be said is should we have dug the hole – or conducted the exercise / activity in the first place where as efficiency is “how fast did you did that hole”.

Yet it can be said that many management and supervisory types confuse the two , mix them up and probably in many cases do not understand the conceptual distinction. Yet somehow they and life goes on. Blitz , Blitz , Blitz is the refrain.

True the two should go hand in hand – in this example at point – the hole should of been a wise idea in the first place and they are done with motorized augers or a tractor – gas is available , staff is on hand at the correct time , staff is dressed for the weather etc etc.

Yet as said – often the basic concepts are not applied or comprehended and management sees its role as to “crack the whip” – boy they fear me “I must really be a good manager” or “Just doing my job”

It might be said that management is Auschwitz was managing well , “doing their job” and perhaps even effective. Yet should this task and the whole evil apparatus be set up and functioning at all – ever ?

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There is an soliloquy in the Woody Allen semi-autobiographical movie “Annie Hall” dealing with the dysfunctional relationships most people have – and indeed plays a good role in them staying in relationships as well as employer-employee employment “relationships” for far too long – sometimes indeed their whole life.

Woody Allen relates that a patient goes to their health care professional – their family doctor (G.P. or M.D.). Doctor you have to help us the patient implores. My brother thinks that for all the world he is a “chicken”. The doctor explains that this must be trying to the family and indeed is a tragic situation.
There are professional psychoanalysts and psychologists who may well be afford to help out this poor fellow. Bring him in and we / they will do tests. The patient explains that he cannot for as he explains to the doctor – “You see we need the Eggs”. So be it and life.

Indeed their was a case of a long term employee of a given firm. Indeed he was a salesman a rep on the road. For the most part management was far far away. They only came to “visit” ( read observe , coerce play mind games ) a very small and regular percentage of this fellow work month or year. On top of that because of his years on the road and sales/ professional relationships built over the years he had good “sales numbers’. He had proved his worth and profitability to the firm long ago and for the most part the younger managers felt that it was a case of “best left alone” and “why cause trouble?”. Well that at least was the case most of the time in his career.

Yet this fellow’s working day was spent essentially telling everyone how he hated his job. If he met young start up salesmen / women on the road the conversation would quickly divert over to the question to the younger charge -” Why don’t you get a real job?”- that is you should leave your current job and industry ( the same as mine) – escape from it – do it now – it would be wisest and the best choice for you.

It was not as if this fellow had no interests beside work and felt trapped. Indeed he had other real interests which had developed into a small service business in that field – servicing ( for good money) golfers in his area.

Yet here is the amazing part – when this fellow retired early with a good pension his days were spent – at his full choice and cost – visiting his former clients to meet and talk with them. Go figure you would think for all the talk that would be the very last choice and path of life he would take. Go figure the human being – or your boss or supervisor .

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You only go through life once. Hence unless you are a masochist or a manager who enjoys “management by disaster” or alternatively the proud announcement “and my job is to put out fires !”, you would think that most people would like to keep their life and lives as enjoyable and trouble / hassle free as possible.
Sadly this often , if not seldom the case.

Why do people stay in relationships and jobs that they don’t like or even despise ? In the case of employment it can well be a trade off for the money to pay bills or support a family , and while the grass often seems greener on the other side it may well be a thought out choice that its really no better anywhere else and the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t . These are all true and valid points and concerns.

Yet in a similar manner people often stay in relationships that like a bad job environment also is toxic.
Why don’t they leave ? It may be convenience. True . Yet as well often these people are drawn and even attracted to the relationships. Essentially they are used to it and it feels the norm. It may even be a recreation of their family of origin. That is what they know , and even if they don’t like it , complain about etc they never seem to walk out the front door and leave home / the family environment.

Its a sad irony and conundrum. Yet is one giant circle their “erroneous zone”. They may not like it – its not enjoyable and indeed painful. Yet when it comes down to the punch – they are both familiar with the setup, feel comfortable , know the system works to a degree and when it comes down to any trouble they know that regardless of all the foibles of these types of relationship it can be counted to work to a good degree.

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What is even more amazing about this whole business of the attack on poor Herman Cain – is the not only the viciousness of the whole event – and yet few ask is not something too obvious or strange. Indeed one reporter ( to push events) answer or comment on the whole matter was to damn Mr. Cain further drew things along with the phrase “Where there is smoke there is fire”

No proof was provided. Indeed its impossible for poor Mr. Cain to defend himself. No parties come forward.
Innuendo. Sealed records. The whole process then of sexual charges was one of shakedown and the insurance companies insistence on settling to have the party go away. Records were sealed and Mr. Cain is not even part or a party to the agreement. Its even worse than one person being judge , jury and executioner.
There are no judges ,juries but yet damning executioners who . like civil servants , are never held to account.

All the while America burns, people lose their houses , unemployment roles on – and Obama flies to Europe and lives like a king. “Corporate Jets… Corporate Jets… Corporate Jets”. Its beyond anything fair and believable and makes the Salem Witch Trials look like a fair and reasonable course of events.

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Your boss is somewhere out there still causing trouble.  Imagine poor Herman Cain. All of this attention to him out of nowhere – all the while the economy goes to ruin.  Trillions and trillions of dollars pissed away , Pelosi and Reid telling lies , a jobs bill  ( pass my bill, pass my bill …. corporate jets .. corporate jets)  and we are supposed to be concerned and worried about an upcoming political figures former ( if they were real) indiscretions.  If the sexual lawsuit was that bad or good  why only 2 months salary for the miscreants.   Heck with lawyers  bills  being what they are it must of been the tiniest of events to only justify a go away with 2 months salary award.

Yet this is all evil and even more evil is Americans actually fall for this.  President Clinton had the greatest of woman in his life. Pierre Trudeau – unmarried had a lot more. Jesse Jackson is being sued by a gay man over sexual what evers.  Nixon went down over coverup on a minor burglary where no one was physically hurt  whereas the US Attorney General actually gives a ton of lethal weapons to Mexican drug smugglers who kill people and US agents with these guns – and not one word.

Its as if your boss was in full conspiratorial mode.

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