What are some tips and strategies for dealing with the big “BIG BULLY”  of them all – your foolish and stupid boss.   Send your boss a poem perhaps.

1) Be ostentatiously loyal – no matter how hard it is , it seems  or how downright foolish and demanding it may be of your intelligence and patience.  Time heals all so they say.

It has been noted in the management literature and the schools of hard knocks that bullies seem to demand a visible show of fealty – the Merriam Webster dictionary defines fealty as the “fidelity of a vassal or a feudal tenant to his Lord”.  Can you think of a better description of the situation.

The expression is “When in Rome do as the Romans”.

The most amazing thing is that you might think that your behaviour might be suspect .  Suck-holing they might of called it in school.  Yet remember here that you are dealing with abject morons.  It turns out that in most cases they are gratified at what they see again as more examples of their apparent power and powers over others.  To be expected from greatness of course.   The only one right and correct answer to the situation.  It simply reaffirms the important motto – that the rules are golden , and they are my rules.

What a bunch of morons !

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A good place to take your boss for  a standard customer ‘service call’
No doubt about it
Start planning that customer ‘service call
Not unlike the auto dealership where a customer went on on a routine assessment call – was shot – but be reassured that the gun went off accidentally !

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Is there a way to do the above but yet still retain your personal dignity and self of self ? Afraid not my dear. The best you can do is hope that these events happen in far off Greenland or perhaps off the road or in a truck stop on the way to Fort McMurray .  Better yet leave your boss by the roadside in the dead of winter far away from any visible sources of transportation , phone service or any availability or potential for help.

After all would he not of treated you in this manner , or has done many many times.

One little boss , how hard can it be ?





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To be or not to to be.

You might think that your boss or supervisor was put on earth by the creator him or herself for that very role in the universe – in the creation of things , events , places and situations in the entire universe .

How grandiose and downright preposterous .

You might well think that your manager grew up in the family of an alcoholic top down management style  of  the Romans,  a biker gang , General Motors or perhaps the railway.

Some things remain in the blood so to speak , and can never be learnt over , or unlearned.

What a waste of time.  Most people somehow complete their work, satisfy their customer base all somehow working around or in spite of their management  and  “head office”

Perhaps it can be viewed that the creator put your boss on earth as a personal test to yourself , your work ethics , morals and scruples.

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You may well , in your past life , attended an interview and felt that the interviewer was more nervous ( and even more foolish than you being at the interview , or even not to smart for working for the particular firm or boss in the first place).

What to do ?  The first answer is to be polite and perhaps even deferential.  After all the person may have a better reason for being there – that is often than a case of “management on the brain” or hero worship. Perhaps they are supporting their sick mother or dog , and they need the money to support the family or these “causes”.

All in all , its best to be quiet . Polite   Get the interview over quickly. Leave.  Never think about such foolish and stupid things again.

Always remember the parable of “Chicken little”

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Try to figure this out as a good example of gobbledygook.
“The next four chapters are each organized around each of the major themes just set out, which encompass our theory of trans formative leadership and empowerment. Starting now emphasis will shift from the leader as an individual with certain personal attributes of an organization. Putting it more precisely. Our focus will change from leader effectiveness. Accordingly. The next four chapters will address the implementation of our theory or how more simply, leaders empower organizations.

Empower organizations? Empower individuals? This is slavery by words and deeds if one can only get out of the mire and muck of elusive and flighty logic that is add odds with itself and as well impossible to comprehend in any full , understandable or enlightening manner of thought or pattern. A paradox of paradigms. The blind leading the blinded.

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A Fable of a productive workplace

Once there was a happy worker ant – so happy and productive

She came to work every day cherry and happy

At the end of the day she had earned her paycheck well

Well not all to well in the world of upper management and theories of personality and production

The boss a lion , thinking and pondering , while evaluating just how smart he was since he was the boss came to the conclusion that with this level of productivity and profit that given there was no supervision , and since the ant was “only a worker”  that events and profits would be much greater if a supervisor was employed ( not unlike the Pharaoh’s management team – the overseers)

A supervisor “The Cockroach” was hired due to the inherent ability of the Cockroach supervisory character to write good reports.

Once the Cockroach as hired , well he decided and determined that he needed a secretary both to enhance the size of his departmental budget, to issue the orders and to type out the reports.  Not that the budget did not have an allotment for a new Dell 8 core computer complete with a color laser printer and collator

Now amazing reports could be issued for board meetings as well as salary reviews for the staff demonstrating why raises could not be awarded,  yet while pointing out the wonderful stats of the upper management

Its all who tells the story and how the trend lines are drawn and laid out

Add to that all the whiz bang colors and the abilities of sophisticated color graphics to dazzle , camouflage and emphasize

Guess what now a spider needed to be hired simply to manage the data in the new time clock system ( introduced by the Cockroach)  as well as to monitor bathroom breaks and record phone calls.

Amazingly things had run just fine before with no time clock what so ever

Graphs and charts were provided on a regular basis to  upper management , for board meetings,  upper management and the directors of the company were rewarded with large bonuses and even stock options and travel perks

The CEO and his wonderful results ( according to graphs always listing upwards)  were a continual fixture in the Wall Street Journal

Somehow a lag came to the business. It came to finger pointing time.  Poor production levels and profit from that one department.

Guess who was fired -  the ant since that employee suffered from poor morale and an unsubstantial “work ethic”

So goes the merry go round

Wonder where it will stop ?

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You may well of had a situation at a border crossing of being asked “Where were you born ?”. Puzzling you may think as I am an “American ” with a valid American passport and documentation. Why should I be asked “Where am or was I born ?”

In the same way you may be asked in a job interview about absences at work and your attendance record. This may even be for an interview for a firm that either pays by a commissions structure or in its mind gives lip service to phrases such as ” First and foremost we reward results…. we…. solid performance.” Its a case of lack of comprehension of simple concepts or / and dealing with idiots and morons. A little knowledge can be said to be a dangerous thing in the hands of less than proficient management.

What should matter first and foremost is results – your productivity and as well ( perhaps) consistency. There are no shortage of apparently loyal employees and various workers “screwing the dog” aka putting in time., all for that large pension or “golden handshake ” at the end of it all .
It could be said that the bonus system of management for the American auto industry and financial system is delusional and indeed theft and is more than a false measure of job performance and productivity. However in the end someone has to pay the piper . Hopefully that is someone else than you , somewhere else.

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Another standard interview question or query that indeed evolved into a classic joke with a punchline is along the lines of   “If you could be anyone in the world who would you like to be or have you often wished you were born as someone else in another family setting ?”  In the humorous version the answer given to the puzzled interviewer is  “Alberta Pipilini”  .  The puzzled interviewer ponders the answer  – not understanding the answer or knowing who the person of fame  Alberta Pipiliniis or where she resides , and in what capacity.

This is a psychological question  with deep hidden  inner meanings and desires revealed.

It turns out that when the interviewer reframes the question – that the person in question is not  person in the flesh but rather the oil pipeline of Alberta (Canada)  (Alberta pipeline) , who the interviewee ( most likely female) , and  that “Alberta Pipelini was laid by a thousand men in the course of six months”.

Well at least the interview question ruled out one candidate on the grounds of intelligence or perhaps helped choose a new executive secretary for the boss.

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It is surreal .   It is beyond belief.

Are Americans as foolish and downright stupid as it appears to take this storybook pablum from their elected political leaders.  Its as if you have your moronic boss as your political leader.

It can be noted and said that a main reason that there are no more than 2 political parties in the American political system is that is akin to having two drug stores in a country town.  Country town usually have one drug store or two never three.  One drug store is OK.  Two allows for trouble making customers to swing between stores – and is a good thing for the owners of the pharmacies .  In addition it allows for long weekends in the summers for one or other outlets to close .  Its all for convenience of the profit makers not for the consumer or those being served.

In a similar manner there are only two political parties.   Get mad at one – you have an alleged option and alternative as  a consumer or in this case citizen / voter / taxpayer.

However this time the fraud and deceit goes beyond anything imaginable.

Imagine this .  Your wallet is drained.   You fear for losing your job and home.  What of your family ?  Things should be tough.  Hold off.  Restraint of discretionary and luxury spending that can be held off till times improve and the tide turns .

And yet – what are Obama and his cronies doing ?
The Union leaders – in this case the AFL-CIO as an example – the self proclaimed “America’s Union Movement”,

are being wined and dined at the fantastic  Fontainebleau Resorts Miami Beach Resort.  Rooms start – that is start – at 400 $ US a night -  that is not ocean view – its a room facing a closet.  Wining and dining -  while the average America citizen wines in horror.    Sure hope that the organizers got a group discount corporate rate.

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Imagine your boss as the manager and supervisor of a school-bus

Here he is indeed after a careful search and hiring process by the below questionnaire – no expense  ( of the expense and travel accounts )  was spared in the search for accurate testing process for new hires and company presidents.

The much fabled “Xerox PSS Course”  ” Sell me that pen” ,  could be summarized as little more than close to $ 5,000 spent hire or trained monkey all to learn to repeat the phrase – “hmm”

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A classic tale of a gastic ulcer – its development , growth under the stress of work related moronic causes :

Ulcer at Work

Excellent noir-type film about pressures facing a white-collar worker whose ulcer drives him to…

Ulcer at Work (1957)

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Excellent noir-type film about pressures facing a white-collar worker whose ulcer drives him to psychological extremes.

This movie is part of the collection: Prelinger Archives

Director: Ned Hockman

Producer: Dwight Swain

Production Company: University of Oklahoma

Sponsor: Oklahoma State Department of Health

Audio/Visual: sound, b&w

Keywords: Mental health; Ulcers; Motion pictures: Film noir

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Run time: 28:38

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Jerk Bosses I Have Known and Endured

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i guess it is not only in the field of administration and management that one finds difficult individuals to work for and along with – 0r downright incompetent and almost perceived as evil.

Check this out from the legal community concerning interactions in the days of technology and the internet fields of marketing and research in terms of the service – or alleged service -  Lexus nexis:

’s funny how some big companies just don’t understand the internet. And it’s infuriating when they breach simple rules of netiquette. LexisNexis wins the Biggest Jerk Award today.

I linked to Lexis

I wrote an article (Lunch, Break, and Hour Laws) over a year ago that linked to one of Lexis’ products. Ironically, that article is the most popular one on my entire site.

I provided a link to Lexis’ lawyer directory, since I thought it added some value to the post. And based on the number of visitors that post receives, I’m sure Lexis has received some traffic from me. I’ve also linked to their sites in other articles throughout my two years of running Legal Andrew.

Lexis complained

A few days ago, I received the following email from a LexisNexis “Content Specialist.” I have added emphasis and removed their links.

Hello,
LexisNexis website ***removed*** has recently upgraded its websites and would you to update/add our links. For generations students have relied on Martindale-Hubbell as the authoritative resource for information on the worldwide legal profession. With a history spanning 140 years, the Martindale-Hubbell Legal Network hopes to provide authoritative legal resources to you.
Please update our links on the following page:

http://www.legalandrew.com/2007/06/07/lunch-break-and-hour-laws-you-should-know/

Please use the following links and text:
Law Firm directory from Martindale
The phrase “Law Firm” should be the clickable link to ***removed***. The following sentence “directory from Martindale” should be plain text (not the clickable link). (”Law Firm” should be the hyperlink)
Also LexisNexis has re-launched its new website for Lawyers.com and would like you to add our links on the page listed above.
Please use the following links and text:
***truncated here***

As you can see, they’re asking for me to change the links that I have given them to use the specific anchor text they’re targeting. And they want me to add links to their other sites.

Let me think about that… HECK NO!

What self-respecting website owner would EVER ask someone to do this? “Hey, thanks for the link. But please use the proper anchor text.”

I tried to educate Lexis

What kind of blogger would I be, if I didn’t help Lexis understand their error?

I responded to Lexis’ email:

I understand that you are just doing your job, but I am insulted by this email. I hope you can pass that along to your supervisor.
I included Martindale in an article I wrote over a year ago. I essentially gave LexisNexis free publicity, traffic, and search engine “juice.”
And now I receive this email from you guys that I need to update that link to reflect your targeted anchor text. AND I should add your other links as well. That is not the way to do business online and create goodwill among internet publishers.
I would be happy to have LexisNexis advertise on www.LegalAndrew.com. I would even consider a barter agreement, where LexisNexis could sponsor my blog, and I could receive free research access. Feel free to call or email to discuss this idea.

I sent that on August 13. As of this article’s publication (August 30), I haven’t heard anything back.

That must mean that Lexis doesn’t care about its completely rude behavior. They don’t want to be a member of the online community. They just want to dominate the search engines. Jerks.

No more links from me

I have now removed ALL Lexis links from my websites. It’s the least they deserve. I encourage you do to the same.

Yes, I’m mad. Maybe I’m petty, but that’s ok.

Will Lexis care?

When I wrote about a Fastcase problem, the CEO called me. He worked things out pretty well. Fastcase obviously cares about its users and its online image.

Now I’m curious if anyone from Lexis will contact me about this post. I’ll certainly let you know if they

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